All my life I have been a wildly creative person, seeking to channel my creative urges sporadically and playfully: ultimately creating without boundaries.
As time went on and life happens, I seemed to, as so many people admit, lose my creative autonomy. I fondly remembered those moments of picking up my craft kit and just creating how I saw fit in that moment – no judgement, no fear. Whereas now, as an adult, I feel warm by those snippets of my childhood and feel compelled to do the same thing: create without limits. Yet, it is all too easy for me to daydream up this idea as ultimately that unforgiving sense of fear and judgement creeps in like a stormy cloud fogging your pure creative flow. Creativity shouldn’t be an obstacle course, it should be a period of time where you are in the flow, enjoying the preciousness of time.
Although I remind myself of this, urge myself to be sporadic and confront the initial fear of a blank page, I more often than not seem to fall short; the first hurdle has me in its grasp. I began reading The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron in February and was compelled to take up her advice of completing daily Morning Pages. Morning Pages are a habitual task of an aspiring or fluent creative where the first instance of the morning is blocked out by handwriting three pages without censoring your language, grammar or punctuation. In Week One she even suggests writing the same phrase again and again if you need to, as long as you get through those three pages the ‘Censor’ (aka fear) will be overcome. I am continually trying to maintain this practise but it is hard. I know that there will always be excuses and reasons for not doing my Morning Pages, and so, along with my shame of giving into fear with my creativity, I also feel guilty for not being disciplined in periodically carving out the time to write. Don’t get me wrong, when I do complete the Morning Pages task, I always feel uplifted and inspired. I genuinely feel so much better. I just need to turn this inspirational habit into a concrete habit. One that I do without failure.
Twinned with my aforementioned musings on Julia Cameron’s advice, I have also been delving deeper into my own Faith (as discussed in more depth in my recent blog post). What’s interesting to note here is that Julia Cameron does state that pursuing creativity is a spiritual experience and I honestly could not agree more!
This sheer abundance of creative energy and inspiration I have is, I do believe, a gift from God. What a blessing it is to be bestowed with the urge to create. In my own context, I love to paint, write, create videos, take photographs, sew, play, interior design, garden and cook. I also would love to learn how to play the piano, but that’s a topic for a whole other time considering our baby number 2 is due in just over two months! I have to be kind and realistic with myself. However, I want to ensure that I am not letting my fears, perfectionism, comparisons to others get in my way of allowing myself to create. There’s so much I want to achieve in this finite experience on earth, I just don’t know where to start. On a slight side note, I suppose starting this blog is a milestone in itself.
Ultimately, I want to be the best person that I can be and unfortunately the worst critic that all of us face is ourselves. We need to overcome the fear, the fear is not who we are. God is Love, God is abundant Creativity, God is Hope. God is the opposite to fear. That is why it is so crucial to overcome and eradicate fear’s dominance in our minds.
“Remember whose you are” John 1:12
In remembering this, I am reminded that God proclaimed:
“Let us make humankind in our image, according to our likeness” Genesis 1:26
Therefore, keeping this in mind, as God is The Creator, and we are made after His likeness, then we too are creative. I do believe, similarly to Julia Cameron, that creativity is a spiritual experience, as you are allowing God to channel through you. And so my abundant fascination and urge to create should be fulfilled, uplifted and cherished. Likewise, so should your creativity.